Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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