So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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