have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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