wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
