Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
