Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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