But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
