i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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