Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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