ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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