My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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