I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
