She said her name was "party"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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