ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
