make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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