I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize