Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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