I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm drive I can fine osifer
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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