doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
