There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
