I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Let's get the cat blown out
Randomize