I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I did not marry a roomba.
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