that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
