yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Can I color on your dick again?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just forgot I was standing up.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
