yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Pants are for mortals
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
