You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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