I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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