HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
