everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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