I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
