I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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