His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
