Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
barbara walters just said penis...
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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