I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
