What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Randomize
