hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
