Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
ttyl tear gas
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
