i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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