bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
