thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
