I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
