I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
