Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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