What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
