with your own penis?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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