You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
