My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
