can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
