He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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