I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize