we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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