The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
