I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
