420 ftw
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i barfeds in our rink
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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