If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
