its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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