Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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