my mouth tastes like poor choices
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
