ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
i need some magic done to my vagina
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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