There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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