also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
