Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Randomize
